She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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