thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she peed on how many people?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
