I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
