honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
