I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's shark week go big or go home
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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