If i come over, it means nothing
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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