Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I FOUND THE LEGS
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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