Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
