You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
