Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
