If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
