we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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