I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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