I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
