Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
