we have pet lesbian snakes
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize