Christians are straight up FREAKS
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
