Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
