My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
