Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
