Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
