Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
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Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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