Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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