It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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