Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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