if i died would you start the facebook group?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
