shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
