I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
