Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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