I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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