You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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