she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
