I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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