I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
