If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
