How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
