I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He literally asked permission to hit on me
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
