sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
