gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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