my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
