She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
