Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize