I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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