And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
