If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
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