4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
