i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
