Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
