I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
