Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize