so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
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I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
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He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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