literally had 100 drinks last night.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
