At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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