By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You made out with two different species that night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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