I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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