god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
