I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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