I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
