when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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