there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
