I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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