If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
