the condom got lost in my hair
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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