Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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