the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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